Chapter 17 Teaser

“Stop Bella,” Edward said, letting his finger work between her teeth to release her lip.

“I hate this.”

Edward sighed and stopped packing. “Bella, I don’t want to leave either but I don’t feel strong enough to beat this shit.”

“But you are.”

He smirked and stood between her legs. He then lifted her up and laid her on the bed, settling between her legs. His lips touched hers as he kissed her softly. When she started to deepen it he pulled back slightly and rolled off of her. He blew out a breath as he brought his left arm up. He gave Bella a concerned look before taking her hand and running it up and down his arm.

“Every day since I awoke this arm has felt like it’s on fire. And this vein,” he forced her finger along it. “It feels like its pulsing. It’s so extreme to me that I keep thinking people can see it or hear it like I can but then I realize no one else does. Bella, I swear it feels like I’m going crazy.”

“You’re not.”

“Maybe, while I’m away they can help me deal with it. I hope so but if anything, I know that while I’m there I’m not gonna use,” he let his fingers trace along her cheek. “I don’t want to be your dad Bella. I don’t want to lie to you about how bad it is.”

“Edward.”

“No, listen, baby. I think I know what your dad felt like. He loved your mom and I believe he was happy and he saw that she was happy. I don’t think he had the heart to tell her he had relapsed or how bad it was for him. Eventually it became too hard to resist.”

He wiped the tears she was shedding.

“I won’t do that to you.”

“Helios, I…”

“I’m having a hard time, Bella,” he said cutting her off. “Every ounce of me is fighting this but I’m still thinking and dreaming about it. I’m afraid to be alone. I’m afraid it will see my weakness and take me.” He looked down and breathed out deeply. “The last time I quit I was locked up. I didn't have access so there was safety in that. I need that kind of isolation. Please tell me you understand.”

She nodded and pulled him down to her. She kissed him hard, letting the passion she always felt for him be released...