Bella watched Edward dart out of the room. Carlisle started to rise but Bella was already following him. She caught up to Edward at the mural and touched his back to let him know she was there. He turned sharply and grabbed her, pushing her against the wall. He kissed her hard and as quickly as it started he stopped for he didn't want to use sex like that either. He hesitantly rested his head on her shoulder, breathing in deeply, and trying to calm down. She immediately brought her hands into his hair and started massaging his scalp softly, knowing that this was something that had calmed him in the past.
“None of this is your fault, Edward.”
He swallowed thickly but didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what was worse, seeing the visuals of what had happened or watching Jasper have a panic attack. In spite of what Bella was saying, he knew that he was partially to blame. His temper had always caused a lot of problems for him including this one. In his mind, everything bad that had happened to them stemmed from from him fighting Mike almost two years ago.
“Let’s talk about this, Helios.”
He still didn't answer. Bella had been watching his reactions and knew that he was getting in his head again. He had been doing so well but anything that concerned her, Jasper, Carlisle, well, any of the people he cared deeply for, rocked him to his core. This was the first true test of what he had learned in therapy. This was a situation that involved Jasper and knowing what had happened to him. It was just the type of thing that would send him spiraling into self-doubt and worthlessness.
“Edward?”
He began to kiss along her neck softly, tenderly and Bella almost cried. Of course that wasn't new for her. The last few weeks she wanted to cry all the time. It had gotten so bad that commercials made her weepy. He finally looked up at her. His eyes were softer, calmer as he brushed his lips against hers.
“I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. Are you okay?”
He rested his forehead against hers as his eyes closed. “I’m trying hard not to blame myself for all of this.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Old habits die hard I guess.”
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